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S.K. Quinn, Independent Author of Science Fiction

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Friday, November 2, 2012

The Mysterious Case of the Disappearing Internal Editor

Inspired by real events...

Me: (puts arm around Internal Editor's shoulder) You're looking awesome! Have you lost weight?

Internal Editor: (blushes) Well, I have been getting a lot of exercise lately.

Me: I know! And I really admired your work on Chapter 12 of Free Souls yesterday. That turn of phrase in the third paragraph? Nicely done!

IE: (beams) Oh, it was nothing.

Me: (gently guiding IE down the hall) No, no! Don't sell yourself short. I love how you rewrote that whole paragraph of rambling stage direction into a single evocative sentence. It was brilliant!

IE: Well, I have been reading up, trying to improve our craft, you know. Analyzing writers who are fabulous in their turns of phrase, like Hugh Howey, and going to workshops given by amazing authors like Kat Falls.

Me: (steers IE toward a door) I know! You're seriously a professional. You should take pride in that!

IE: Thanks! What's this?

Me: Just the basement, silly! Ladies first...

IE: (takes two steps down the stairwell) Why are we going to the-

Me: (slams door)

IE: Hey! (bangs on door) What are you doing? Let me out!

Me: Sorry. No can do.

IE: What? What do you mean? (bangs on door again) Let me out this instant!

Me: (gets out laptop, boots up)

IE: (silence) Is that the laptop? Are you writing without me? (bangs some more) For the love of all that's Heinlein, let me out! You can't even punctuate a sentence without me! 

Me: True enough. (starts typing)

IE: (waits, calls quietly through the door) You're... you're doing that NaNo thing again aren't you?

Me: (types faster) Yes.

IE: (gasps) How long are you going to keep me in here?

Me: (pauses) If you're quiet, I'll let you out tomorrow.

IE: TOMORROW? You're going to write all night without me! (bangs on door, sobs) Nooooo...

Me: (shakes head) Could have been a month. You're lucky I have edits to do. (puts in earplugs, cranks up Nickelback) "It's not like you, to say sorry, I was waiting on a different story, This time I'm mistaken, for handing you a heart worth breakin..."


18 comments:

  1. LOL! I loved this. Perfect imagery for the second day.

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    1. I thought you might like it. :) (I wrote it just for you!)

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  2. Love this post! Reminded me of how my inner editor felt this morning . . .

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  3. HAHA, this is Excellent!! I had a fun conversation with Mr. Netflix not too long ago :)

    http://meganhandwrites.blogspot.com/2012/10/new-movie-mondays-listen-to-your-heart.html

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  4. My internal editor carries a switchblade. He's been honing up on Google-translated Arabic for the last two years.

    One mean hombre, that dude.

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    1. Yikes! You may need more drastic measures…

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    2. I hired a hitman, but he was found floating in the Detroit River. Not a healthy thing to do, even without the knife wounds.

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  5. LOL - You know I needed to see this!

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  6. My internal editor snuck in yesterday to reboot a passage, but I'm going to make sure that doesn't happen again.

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  7. haha! i wish it was that easy to turn off my internal editor! but i'm trying.

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  8. lol. that is perfect. Thankfully, my muse has been in love with our current project. My internal editor is afraid to come out and play until muse says she can. I should be able to accomplish my goal this month. *crosses fingers* I already promised my internal editor a trip to revision island when we are finished with the draft. she's off packing somewhere...

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  9. Nice. Remind me to keep a wary eye on you.

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  10. Love it! I need to do that, my IE made me delete about 500 words.

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  11. Ha, ha, ha, ha!
    Luckily, my IE goes to be early, and she has no head for liquor.
    So if I have a martini and stay up late, she's asleep on the couch drooling while I write.

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    1. Oooh! Drunk writing. I'm going to have to do that at some point this month. :)

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  12. ha ha this is very funny. I like your posts I've read quite a few and like the way you create a tale with your posts.. keep them coming

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Erudite comments from thoughtful readers