Inspired by real events...
Me: (puts arm around Internal Editor's shoulder) You're looking awesome! Have you lost weight?
Internal Editor: (blushes) Well, I have been getting a lot of exercise lately.
Me: I know! And I really admired your work on Chapter 12 of Free Souls yesterday. That turn of phrase in the third paragraph? Nicely done!
IE: (beams) Oh, it was nothing.
Me: (gently guiding IE down the hall) No, no! Don't sell yourself short. I love how you rewrote that whole paragraph of rambling stage direction into a single evocative sentence. It was brilliant!
IE: Well, I have been reading up, trying to improve our craft, you know. Analyzing writers who are fabulous in their turns of phrase, like Hugh Howey, and going to workshops given by amazing authors like Kat Falls.
Me: (steers IE toward a door) I know! You're seriously a professional. You should take pride in that!
IE: Thanks! What's this?
Me: Just the basement, silly! Ladies first...
IE: (takes two steps down the stairwell) Why are we going to the-
Me: (slams door)
IE: Hey! (bangs on door) What are you doing? Let me out!
Me: Sorry. No can do.
IE: What? What do you mean? (bangs on door again) Let me out this instant!
Me: (gets out laptop, boots up)
IE: (silence) Is that the laptop? Are you writing without me? (bangs some more) For the love of all that's Heinlein, let me out! You can't even punctuate a sentence without me!
Me: True enough. (starts typing)
IE: (waits, calls quietly through the door) You're... you're doing that NaNo thing again aren't you?
Me: (types faster) Yes.
IE: (gasps) How long are you going to keep me in here?
Me: (pauses) If you're quiet, I'll let you out tomorrow.
IE: TOMORROW? You're going to write all night without me! (bangs on door, sobs) Nooooo...
Me: (shakes head) Could have been a month. You're lucky I have edits to do. (puts in earplugs, cranks up Nickelback) "It's not like you, to say sorry, I was waiting on a different story, This time I'm mistaken, for handing you a heart worth breakin..."